Crying in the Rain

Crying in the Rain

Something about the change of seasons can bring up a lot of emotion. Perhaps it’s nature’s way of telling us it’s time for a change. Time for us to let go, move on or make a different CHOICE. Allowing ourselves to BE in our present season.

This week I could feel the tears right on the surface, at any moment they were going to spill over and I was going to have a good long cry. I was busy working and not sure this ‘release’ would happen at the most opportune moment. I’m an expert at holding the tears in. Not a good thing. I understand where this originated in my history.


I grew up with 3 older sisters. An emotional household. When mom cried, it broke my heart. I wanted to fix things and make it all better. I couldn’t fix the pain for her.


Somewhere along the way I decided that crying was weak. And because I BELIEVED that, it influenced my behavior.

Fast forward to my 30’s when I went through a divorce and needed to ‘stay strong’ to support and care for my five children.


I didn’t or wouldn’t allow myself cry. I believed I had to be strong.


Fifteen years later I had a breakdown. One of my sister’s concluded that it was caused from an accumulation of tears that I refused to release.


I can see that clearly now.


See that I misunderstood ‘strength’ and my body’s way of telling me I needed to ‘release’ something.


That’s what tears are.


Tears are a physical release.


When emotions and feelings can no longer be contained, they spill over – spill out, in the form of tears.


What happens if you train yourself to block the release? Hold in the feelings and emotions because you’re afraid that if you have them you’re weak?


All sorts of symptoms come from denied and unexpressed feelings.


We can get lost in how we let these things define us. Our symptoms and stories aren’t always what we think they are. Just like my story about tears. Tears are NOT a symptom of weakness. They are a release. We can also make up stories about the release. What is wrong with me? Why am I feeling this way? How did I get so screwed up?


Self-Discovery Writing is a process of discovering your authentic self. First, you must understand your history. Identifying your story. Peeling back the layers and finding the real you. The you before you got lost in all of the ‘shoulds’ and ‘not enoughs’ and ‘pleasing others’ and ‘comparisons’.


Writing your story is about understanding your history.  Not usually something you can do on your own. It takes a bit of guidance to step onto the path and take the journey of self-discovery in a way that is gentle and yet powerful.


If any of this resonates with you, please join me in the Self-Discovery Writing mentorship.


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